Incessant Gibberish

Since you asked what a “Snowlobster” is, here is the story.

Oooooh, back in 1999 I think… I used to live in a duplex in my hometown of Texarkana. The girl that lived beside me was this gorgeous young girl named Heather. She looked just like Monica Lewinsky. I’m not kidding! See?

Heather was in love more times than I can count in the two years we lived beside each other. Man, she had that wedding dress, the place, the colors, the cake, the ring etc. picked out before she was even engaged. She wrote in journals, she went to girlie parties, participated in weddings, everything to her was getting married. Shit, I was newly divorced so we were two extremes on that subject. She was quite refreshing though. She had a positive outlook, and a lot of energy, a beautiful smile, and humongous tits.

Back in October of that year, Heather was in love with a guy named Jean-Marc who had moved in with her. French name? Yes. Was he? No. Anyway, a very bad thing happened. One night Jean-Marc left to go out with some friends for “just a little while”, but he promised Heather he would be back shortly so they could discuss where their relationship was going. (Oh brother!) Of course, you can guess what happened. He didn’t get home until 2am, and Heather was PIST OFF. Jean-Marc comes in drunk as a skunk and they start yelling at each other. Next thing I heard was a very loud noise like they knocked the wall down. But what had happened was that when Jean-Marc was bending down to get something out of the closet, Heather pushed him in there, shut the door, and bolted it. Big mistake. Jean-Marc didn’t like crowded dark spaces and he came unglued. Well, the door came unglued because he tore it down and off the hinges getting out of there. Heather called the police and soon the heat was on the scene.

Little did Heather know that Jean-Marc had moved up from Houston because he was trying to start his life over after being involved in a car theft. I’m foggy on the details, but if I recall correctly he was on probation and one day moved away and didn’t show up again to check in with his probation officer. Yep, you guessed it… they hauled him to jail. Not only for the violence, but because of his past arrest. Heather didn’t know about it, and she felt horrible for calling the police, however she supported him the entire time he was incarcerated and did all she could to communicate with him via pictures, visits, letters, etc. Except for that one incident, I really liked Jean-Marc. He was a hard worker and was about to get a promotion where he worked. Sweet guy, such a shame about what happened.

Fast forward 2 months:

Anyway, it was January of 2000 and we got an incredible 12″ of snow. (I know, I said “an incredible 12 inches” so get your mind outta the gutter.) We’re talking snow here people. Lots and lots of snow, especially for a small East Texas town like TXK. Wow, it was so beautiful. I was really enjoying it from the comfort of my nice warm duplex. Heather came knocking on my door late that snowy afternoon and asked me if I would help her build a snowman. She wanted to take a picture of it and send it to Jean-Marc. So, I was like… you’re kidding? It’s fucking cold out there! But she pleaded and I gave in.

So we started building this snowman, and before too long our hands were freezing as we weren’t equipped with heavy coats and neither of us owned any gloves. We tried putting layers of socks on our hands to help keep them warm, but they’d just get wet and our hands would be even colder. Then I got a brilliant idea. I went into my house and got my pair of lobster oven mitts that Mary (my BFF) brought to me from her visit to New Orleans, and when I came back outside Heather was hysterical with laughter. She thought I was Martha Stewart at that point. The damn things worked. My hands were frikkin’ WARM! I was kneeling down trying to roll the snow up, and Heather made me pose for a picture. After she got the film developed, I gave the picture to my friend Jim to scan for me. When he sent the file back, he had named it “snowlobster.jpg”. The name stuck with me as I passed it around to friends and family to see, and that is how the snowlobster” name was born.

And we did finish building the snowman, we even carved it with a meat knife to shape it up because the snow was so icy. Heather made a sign, and we wrapped a scarf around his neck and put an SRV hat on his head. She took the picture and sent it to her boyfriend in jail. I took this one with my Poloroid for posterity’s sake. It was dark by the time we got finished, but damn… that was fun. :)

 

So now ya know. : )